It was the best times. It was the worst of times.

If my boys had read Dickens, this is what they would have said Friday.  It seems there is a bit of a pandemic in my house.  I am not sure where the epidemic started, but believe me it's here.  We have a house filled with cutie little liars.  Sweet little liars that looked me in the face, straight into my eyes and lied.

Now I know you are going to say, don't overreact. Kids lie. It's part of growing up.  Those are both true statements. Kids lie.  But this to me is a little different.  It started small. Did you leave the milk out? Did you hit your brother. Then it is was did you do your homework to do you have any homework? All the way up to did you download inappropriate material on your iPod or use your DS when you were grounded?

I suppose my issue is not that they lied.  It's given a grace period and grace from punishment, the lie continued.  I guess for the first time in a long time I experienced a test of my ability to provide grace to those who were underserving. Talk about walking the walk.  I had to put my faith where my parenting was.

I let the cutie little liars see what their actions can do to people.  They saw me cry.

Those of you who know me, know I don't cry.  Pretty much ever.  I don't know other than for pain if my kids have ever seen me cry. Especially because I was sad, and certainly not for something they did.

The scene played out like this:

Me- "Are you lying?"
Child- "No, Mom. I swear, I am not lying."
Me- "Don't swear. Well, I happen to know you are lying. I have given you 72 hours to come clean with no punishment and now since you are continuing to lie to me, I want you to know that (insert waterworks and pause) you have (sniff, sniff) broken my heart."(I just sat there with my head bowed down and then quietly stood up and walk out of the room.)

Child- "Awww Mommy don't cry. I'm so sorry I lied.  I'll never do it again.  Yes it was me. I did it."

The scene went on a little longer, but the point is it took me not yelling, not screaming and not threatening.  It took real emotions.  Frankly, I was upset to the point of tears.  I didn't stage them. I let myself be emotional in front of my boys.  They saw first hand how there words and actions affected me. And I told them they broke my heart.  It was interesting to me, the breaking of our trust didn't bother them as much as seeing how they had hurt me.

Perhaps, seeing me upset is so much more real to them, than the esoteric idea of trust.  They can't see trust or faith, but they, just like the disciple Thomas, could see my hurt and sadness for what they had done.

I look forward to seeing what this week will bring.  Today is already off to great start with laundry.... I can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring.

Happy Laundry Day

And then I realized....

Well I did get the ironing done. Finally.... I'm not going to lie. It was a little liberating to do it.

And then it was on to Wednesday... Mending.  I didn't really have anything to fix per se clothing wise, but I did build two Pinewood Derby cars with the boys.  That counts right???  Mending things around the house could mean so many different things in 2013, but as I was talking to my boys about what I was going to mend, they said, "Oh, are you going to sew all our Scout patches on?" So I'll be doing a little mending on Thursday, Churning Day.

Our Churning Day isn't about making butter.  We are churning out the chores and most importantly cleaning the rooms.

My sweet little angels, my sweet, sweet, sweet, little angels are discovering the value of simple living.  From the mouths of babes came this profound statement, "So, let me get this straight. If we never trash our rooms, you won't get upset and we will probably be able to find everything and our clothes will always be clean?"

My response was, "I can't guarantee that I won't ever get upset with you, but I can tell you if you keep everything where it is supposed to be, it is very likely you will be able to find it when you need it."

Do things go missing in your house?  I am convinced we have a poltergeist or a mischievous elf that steals or moves things in the house. Having admitted to that, this otherworldly creature particularly likes to transport TaeKwondo belts, glasses, left shoes, and soccer balls to another dimension.

As we finished up La Purga (the purge) of the extraneous from the house, the boys looked around this week and said, "Wow. Now we have room to spread out all our Pokemon cards!" Hmmmm......

But what we did discover as a group, was where the elves hide all their stuff.  Ok, some places were weird, other places like the other shoes for instances were in completely ridiculous places like oh I don't know... THE SHOE BIN!!!!

I sat all day Monday and worked on the little guys' room.  They helped dig out from under the beds and match pajamas and wash their clothes.  I made huge progress with them on living simple.  I will post some sweet photos of their "new" room on my Facebook page. They got it.  Those two cuties threw out and donated so much it was amazing.

The older two however, well let's just say that my new spiritual rule of life has become- not to become completely possessed by a mad crazed screaming banshee when I attempt to walk in their room.  They chose instead of decorating in a crisp, clean, organized style to pull a play from the horders book.  Ugh.

How am I going to get through to these boys about keeping everything organized?  I looked at their little faces yesterday and just asked them, "Are you happy with the way your room looks? Can you find everything you need? Are you tired of stuff getting broken because we step on it?"

With cute little freckled faces they looked at me and said, "What does that have to do with anything?"

And then I realized; they didn't get it. Cleaning their rooms and hanging their clothes, putting their shoes up and putting away their TaeKwonDo uniforms, in their minds has absolutely NOTHING to do with cleaning their room and being able to find what they need, when they need it.  I pondered this synaptic failure and just walked away.

See, I can't fix that mode of thinking. The best screaming, yelling and tantrum throwing in the world is not going to breakthrough that mode of thinking. All I can do is show them by doing your chores you will live a happier life.

Yesterday the epiphany happened. It was an AH-HA, in your face moment, KABAM moment, because there were no socks, no shoes, and of least importance to a 9 year old boy, no underwear.  "MOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! I can't find anything." cried a little voice from upstairs.

"Did you put your laundry away? Did you bring your dirty clothes down on Monday? Did you put your shoes in the shoe bin?" I asked smirkily.

"Ugh. Mom stop being so rational. NOOOOO. Ok NO. I didn't do any of that. So can you help me find my stuff."

"No. I put your things where they belonged. You moved them, transmorphed them to another dimension in the blackhole that is your room. I already did my part, and as you so famously tell me everyday, it's not my problem." and then I walked away, like a boss.

The simple response from my sweet freckle angel, "Well played, Mom."

It was a rough 4 days and the learning curve was steep, and by no means is their room cleaned, but at least I know today after Scouts my older guys are working on their room and the little guys.... Well they have a date with around 10,000 Pokemon cards that "mysteriously" came out of their binders onto the floor.

Let me know how you mended and churned.  I for one am churning out the chores today!!

The Laziest Generation

Well getting back into the weekly groove has been a challenge of it's own.  I am reposting the work list for everyday of the week in order to help guide my week and help get back into the groove.

Wash on Monday
Iron on Tuesday
Mend on Wednesday
Churn on Thursday
Clean on Friday
Bake on Saturday
Rest on Sunday

So today was supposedly wash day.  Ha!!! It was wash everything day. The dishes, the laundry, the floor, the stairs, the carpet.  So much washing today and if you stopped by.... well please don't stop by. Not yet. The washing isn't over.

I now have a labeled bin the in the laundry room that says Ironing. Tomorrow I am going to be able to walk right into that Laundry Room and grab that iron and .......  well that's tomorrow.  It's still wash day for another 2-ish hours right?

Ahhhh, but onto today's title- The Laziest Generation.  Raising 5 boys is an inherent challenge. Raising 1 boy is an inherent challenge. I have 1 boy that right now I am spending all my time "raising." He is very resistant to said raising, but I am not giving up.  I have been reading some new parenting books and I gotta say I am getting really tired of society's  "love your child, bring out their inner spirit, so we don't crush their souls, don't yell at your kids" garbage.  Before you judge, let me explain.

When I say, "Clean your room." That means clean your room. I have already shown you how to clean your room. I have labelled everything in your room.  Clean your room does not mean take the clothes you didn't feel like putting up, back in the dirty clothes hamper to be washed again. Nor does it mean to open drawers and bins and shove stuff wherever you can fit it.  Or hide your clothes and jackets in your little brothers' closet or my favorite hide stuff under the sink. And most importantly, clean your room does not mean lie to your mother about what you have been doing instead of cleaning your room.

Clean your room means: you have 10 drawers and 4 baskets. Each designed and created for a purpose. (Psssttt: in most cases they are labeled for you.) So why on Earth are you SHOCKED, when I venture into your room and started screaming in 3 different languages at you, when you have had 2 days to clean your room, and have VOWED to my face, before GOD, that your room is cleaned but in fact, the room looks like the FBI was in your room doing a search for dust mites and lost a paperclip.  Riddle me that Batman!

And then, no sooner have your ears stopped ringing from my tirade but before you apologize for the past lying and deceitfulness, you have the audacity, to ask me "when are you going to take me Target? I have my own money. Since I know you won't buy me anything."  Hmmmmm....

Needless to say, I now have possession of every electronic device.  They are grounded from electronics, batteries and LCD screens. That ought to free up some time, since they are too busy to actaully clean their rooms.

 I am desperately trying to instill a work ethic in them.  Although today, just ethics would have been nice.  You will have to actually WORK for want you want.  You don't get to just decide, "Oh I'll be on the PGA Tour." and BAM there you are.  It takes years of constant work improving your game and tireless effort honing your skills.  It's not hitting 10 balls on the driving range and calling it a day. We are still in the 10 balls a day mindset......

What does this mean for my lazy generation?  My lazy generation received a crystal clear wake up call today.  The grounding was lengthened and the chores that were once optional for payment, well those are now mandatory without payment for 2 weeks.  Failure to complete your chores on any day in the 14 day period earns you another week. No discussion, no appeals. If you don't do your work, I provide you another week in which to succeed.

I run a fairly strict household.  I believe in what I call "If-then" parenting.  If you do this, then this will happen.  It works for the good, and the bad.  Somewhere along the line in the last 2 years though, the boys stopped believing I would do what I say.  I'm not sure how this happened, but it did.  Not for lack of follow through on my part.  They have just decided to test every. single. boundary.

Ok then. Game on.  But they know I play to win, and I am NOT losing this round.

See it's really simple.  Do what you're told. When you are told. There is no appeals committee. No grievance council. Do your work. On time and correctly. Period.  And there is ABSOLUTELY NO WHINING about your work.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I can't wait to see how we rise and shine. Let's see how much we can change course of this glacier!!  Regardless, tomorrow I am getting out my iron and using it.

Happy Ironing

A new year, a new baby and a new simple

I can't believe it's been so long since I hosted this blog.  Wow! I guess pregnancy and bed rest were not conducive to blogging!! sigh...

Well here we are. It's a new year, baby Rory is now 5 months old and I am kinda all about keeping things nice and simple.  2013 is going to be a minimalist year.  Continuing to go through the house and throwing out things we don't need. Culling through the "stuff" of everyday kid life.

More importantly though I'm getting my simple back on.  I saw that raised eyebrow! Don't be skeptical.  Hear me out.

 Do you have a simple?  I know you are reading that sentence and thinking, "Is she grammar impaired? What's a simple?"

Well a simple, is just that- simple.  It's a noun, verb, and adjective all rolled into one.  It's the ability to see past the judgements of society and realize, my job is raising emotionally independent free thinkers who take responsibility for their own actions and live in the moment with my family.

For me, my simple is this: Wake up and discern God's purpose for me today.  This is just my simple.  Yours may be very different. Yours could be to wake up and get your household chores done before the kiddos get up, or to read your Bible everyday for 20 minutes, or cook homemade oatmeal and have it waiting when everyone comes downstairs.

2013 is going to be my great and simple year.  I am sitting down and working everyday on my books. I am cleaning and organizing my house and I am trying to get into a routine of doing a little everyday.

What is your simple? I hope you pour a cuppa tea or coffee and really sit and think about this.  How can you find your simple? What does it look like?

I can't wait to hear what your simple is.  Let me know when you figure it out. 2013 here we come!!!