It happens to all of us at one time or another. We are sitting under a tree or in your car......and BAM! You remember. You remember what life was like as you romped through gardens or in my case the piney woods with all their mystery and foreboding invitations. Maybe it was a smell or sound, but suddenly you are transported back through time. Back to where it all began. When the you in you became you.
As a child, there were many rules in the Dawson house. There was also an two volume accompanying series of Lectures and Sermons on the rules of the Dawson house. I can recite most from memory. But there was one rule, once broken guaranteed you being locked up in the dungeon with the fearsome dragon- not coming home when the street light came on.
If you could abide that simple rule or be visibly running toward the house you were fine. Your afternoons and weekends of roaming the woods and bayous with fairies and elves could continue. A life filled with pirate adventures, wars between evil kings and valiant princes unfolded daily. Break it and the desolation would set in. A depression like no other. Until you discovered the screen on the dungeon could popped out and you could escape and...... I can't reveal everything.YET!
Maybe you didn't create such a fantastical childhood for yourself. I did. I was the only girl on a street of boys. There were five us. Me and 4 boys. Kinda like now... Jeremy, Grant, Collin, and Brandon. Each completely different. Each with an imagination beyond anything Paramount and Warner Bros. has seen.
For the most part though, it was the three musketeers- me, Jeremy and Grant.
The adventures were grand. Thwart with danger and there was never a damsel in distress or a princess who needed rescuing. There was a however a princess who was so skilled she saved the day and rescued the prince. I was wondering when I became I feminist..... now you know too.
Do you have those childhood friends? Do your children have those childhood friends? Friendships that stand the test of changing homerooms, opposing teams, and changing schools?
Did you ever think that living the fairy tale was important? Not the fairy tale, where the handsome prince comes and they live happily ever after. No THE fairy tale. The one where every one is special and has a purpose and a special gift only they can wield? The one where the hero grows as a person and forges relationships and friendships that will last for all eternity? That fairy tale.
I have forgotten so much of my childhood and the games and the antics that I was involved in- and there were many. But lately, as I have taken a step back and starting removing the extraneous and remembering who I was, I have remembered.
Oh the stories I could tell you!! The fairies that carved out special hiding places just for the three of us in the front of the ligustrums- the right side was easier to get in and out of. The amazing Oriental garden with the fish and little temple with the strange fat naked man....and the popcorn and m&m balls made with such love by the White Queen that you could taste the magic inside.
With all the busy schedules and the neighborhoods where no one plays outside and children riding bikes in groups clearly must gangs and up to no good, have we forgotten to provide the fairy tale?
Have we forgotten to let our children roam? To be free? And yes that's right roam right out of our line of sight and... Play. Create. Imagine. Explore. Have amazing friendships.
I try really hard to create the fairy tale in my little suburban village. The boys and I talk about the princess who is constantly trapped by evil people and made to work all the time. "Quick Jack, get the Lightsaber and the wand. We will need both in order to cut her free! The Apple is sucking her will to live." Hmmmm. There was a time when I might have worked a little to much and my children in their fairy tale land saw what I couldn't see....
Amazing the lens of a child's mind's eye... It perceives what others can not.
Today ask your children what they think you do all day. Ask them who their best friends are. Talk to them about your best friends. Tell them some of the fantastical stories about your childhood. Don't let geography or a clock keep your children from being children. In the 21st century, we have to work a little harder as the guardians of the fairy tale to keep it alive. We have to help our children be children and experience wonder on their own.
As for me.... I see my new children's series developing as I write this. I would love to change the names to protect the guilty, but when you can find me a name that rolls off the tongue in complete agitation with a hint of whine like JEERREMMMY. I'll change it.
Live your fairy tale this week. Leave some of your childhood stories here.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Sometimes you just need a nap
My nanny has been ill this week, which means- the Mommy does everything.
Ok, I know there are women all over the world and here in Cypress who do it all, all the time. So I sat back and said "whew." 360 days a year I am blessed.
There would have been a time, not so long ago, when this would have rocked my world. I would have cried and panicked. But now, I looked at my kids told them what was happening and how the schedule was changing and that we had to jump in and help one another. Everyone was on board except... the older two.
They wanted their lives to be just how they planned them out to be. They didn't pitch in, or make a sacrifice. They expected everyone else to adjust to make their plans work.
hmmmm..... there's a lesson here I just know it. I think it might be a doozy.
So the two little guys and I had a meeting. I explained that they would not be able to go to bed on time, they would have to attend an hour long meeting with me, in their pajamas and they would have to rise and shine in the morning without complaining.
They both said in unison "Ok, Mommy, we love you. Let's go! Can we bring our DS's?" "No sweethearts you can't." "Ok... (insert sad cute pouty faces here).
But, what to do about the older two?
I didn't yell or scream, or berate them for their choice, but they started getting the picture when I said it was time to go and they asked for help. I said simply "I am sorry, if you want to do your schedule you will have to get all your things together. I am busy getting the house ready for tonight."
So we all load up and a little voice from the back of the car says "Mommy, thank you for making sacrifices for us. I am sorry I made a bad choice."
One down, one to go. Victory is close....
The last one though will be the toughest to turn. He is really struggling right now.
I would love to tell you he wants to be an adult and is testing my boundaries, but I can't. I would love to tell you he is striving for his independence and is lashing out because he wants to take control of his life, but I can't.
I can tell you he is resorting to 18 month old behavior where a parent does everything for him and provides everything without any consequences for bad behavior. I can tell you he doesn't really care about anything except getting what he wants on his timeline. I can tell you that no amount of consequences really makes a difference because in the end he doesn't really care about anything right now. (We are of course in the off season for golf...)
It's been really interesting lately...
So this morning as I write this, my youngest has fallen back asleep on the couch. We couldn't find him during breakfast at 7:15. The poor little guy had gotten up in the middle of breakfast and laid back down on the couch. Of course now it's 9:30 and he's still sleeping....
I wish Jason were here to see this. This is what happens. Your actions affect others. See it didn't immediately affect Jack on Monday or even Tuesday, but on Wednesday the little guy just couldn't keep up with big brother. And so many times you aren't around to see the affects of your actions on others.
So like Jack, sometimes you just need a nap. When things are too much... When life happens to you because of others choices.... you just need to take your self out of the equation. It's ok. Just rest and be ready for your day when you wake up. Life will still be waiting for you. That's the great thing about life, isn't it? It's always there, in motion, waiting for you to hop back in when you are ready.
Here is one of my favorite Irish blessings for you today:
Ok, I know there are women all over the world and here in Cypress who do it all, all the time. So I sat back and said "whew." 360 days a year I am blessed.
There would have been a time, not so long ago, when this would have rocked my world. I would have cried and panicked. But now, I looked at my kids told them what was happening and how the schedule was changing and that we had to jump in and help one another. Everyone was on board except... the older two.
They wanted their lives to be just how they planned them out to be. They didn't pitch in, or make a sacrifice. They expected everyone else to adjust to make their plans work.
hmmmm..... there's a lesson here I just know it. I think it might be a doozy.
So the two little guys and I had a meeting. I explained that they would not be able to go to bed on time, they would have to attend an hour long meeting with me, in their pajamas and they would have to rise and shine in the morning without complaining.
They both said in unison "Ok, Mommy, we love you. Let's go! Can we bring our DS's?" "No sweethearts you can't." "Ok... (insert sad cute pouty faces here).
But, what to do about the older two?
I didn't yell or scream, or berate them for their choice, but they started getting the picture when I said it was time to go and they asked for help. I said simply "I am sorry, if you want to do your schedule you will have to get all your things together. I am busy getting the house ready for tonight."
So we all load up and a little voice from the back of the car says "Mommy, thank you for making sacrifices for us. I am sorry I made a bad choice."
One down, one to go. Victory is close....
The last one though will be the toughest to turn. He is really struggling right now.
I would love to tell you he wants to be an adult and is testing my boundaries, but I can't. I would love to tell you he is striving for his independence and is lashing out because he wants to take control of his life, but I can't.
I can tell you he is resorting to 18 month old behavior where a parent does everything for him and provides everything without any consequences for bad behavior. I can tell you he doesn't really care about anything except getting what he wants on his timeline. I can tell you that no amount of consequences really makes a difference because in the end he doesn't really care about anything right now. (We are of course in the off season for golf...)
It's been really interesting lately...
So this morning as I write this, my youngest has fallen back asleep on the couch. We couldn't find him during breakfast at 7:15. The poor little guy had gotten up in the middle of breakfast and laid back down on the couch. Of course now it's 9:30 and he's still sleeping....
I wish Jason were here to see this. This is what happens. Your actions affect others. See it didn't immediately affect Jack on Monday or even Tuesday, but on Wednesday the little guy just couldn't keep up with big brother. And so many times you aren't around to see the affects of your actions on others.
So like Jack, sometimes you just need a nap. When things are too much... When life happens to you because of others choices.... you just need to take your self out of the equation. It's ok. Just rest and be ready for your day when you wake up. Life will still be waiting for you. That's the great thing about life, isn't it? It's always there, in motion, waiting for you to hop back in when you are ready.
Here is one of my favorite Irish blessings for you today:
May God give you...
For every storm a rainbow,
For every tear a smile,
For every care a promise,
And a blessing for every trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh a sweet song,
And an answer for every prayer.
Happy napping!!
Friday, September 9, 2011
A Letter, a garden, a simple change
Thursday has come and gone and Friday is finally here.
What did the simple life look life yesterday? Well..... not as simple as I had hoped.
I did sit down and write letters. On paper. With an old fashioned quill you dip in ink.
Today I am writing more. It's actually quite lovely to sit and write using penmanship.
Not handwriting. Penmanship.
Letter writing, as well as, penmanship have become lost arts in the 21st century. How long has it been since you sat down and wrote a letter-a real letter? Not a thank you note. Not because it is a holiday. A genuine out of the blue letter to someone.
I am embarrassed to say it has been well over a decade. Maybe the loss of the written word has been one of those "little things" we stopped doing because we felt they did not matter anymore.
I wonder "What if it does matter?" What if by writing to our friends and family we were more connected because it takes more time and more thought to write a letter than a quick Facebook post or Twitter update?
There is thought and time and intention in a letter. It is an intentional act.
I'll let you know how the writing continues. My goal is a few letters a day. Mailed to friends, family and women in my church. Each one a different topic. Each one unique, because the recipient is unique and my relationship with each should be unique too.
Thursday was for mending. After the grand cleaning episodes of this past week, I didn't feel like hammering or sewing. Instead yesterday I began the slow process of mending relationships. Some were old, others new, others still hopeful. The saying "Friendships are like gardens, you have to tend them to help them grow" is as true today as it was then. Do we overlook our tending and mending? I have. I have stopped calling to check in, and merely texted, when a phone call would have been a better choice.
In a sense we have done this to ourselves. We allowed changes in the world to change our hearts. See your heart wants you to hear your friend's voice. Your heart wants to sing as your friend or family gets excited when they see a letter in the mail box- a handwritten letter.
As I was embarking on my journey in this really big world, I received a painting with this quote: "Bloom where you are planted" by Mary Englebreit. It hung on my wall in college, in grad school, and in my first home. It still hangs in my house today. I love this painting and quote, as it reminds me to always bloom where I am. Regardless of where I am. There are so many times I am not brave enough to bloom, but I am working on it. Other times I am blooming and didn't even realize it. Has that happened to you? Making a difference. Living a dream you never knew was yours? Sometimes though, if we are all just going along blooming where we are planted we forget- We were planted there on purpose.
Others were planted around us- on purpose.
We are all part of the same garden. The time we spend together should be toxin free and full of growing and blooming.
I challenge you to write a letter to some in your garden this week. See if your garden becomes a little bloomier.
I hope mine does.
Bloom on!
What did the simple life look life yesterday? Well..... not as simple as I had hoped.
I did sit down and write letters. On paper. With an old fashioned quill you dip in ink.
Today I am writing more. It's actually quite lovely to sit and write using penmanship.
Not handwriting. Penmanship.
Letter writing, as well as, penmanship have become lost arts in the 21st century. How long has it been since you sat down and wrote a letter-a real letter? Not a thank you note. Not because it is a holiday. A genuine out of the blue letter to someone.
I am embarrassed to say it has been well over a decade. Maybe the loss of the written word has been one of those "little things" we stopped doing because we felt they did not matter anymore.
I wonder "What if it does matter?" What if by writing to our friends and family we were more connected because it takes more time and more thought to write a letter than a quick Facebook post or Twitter update?
There is thought and time and intention in a letter. It is an intentional act.
I'll let you know how the writing continues. My goal is a few letters a day. Mailed to friends, family and women in my church. Each one a different topic. Each one unique, because the recipient is unique and my relationship with each should be unique too.
Thursday was for mending. After the grand cleaning episodes of this past week, I didn't feel like hammering or sewing. Instead yesterday I began the slow process of mending relationships. Some were old, others new, others still hopeful. The saying "Friendships are like gardens, you have to tend them to help them grow" is as true today as it was then. Do we overlook our tending and mending? I have. I have stopped calling to check in, and merely texted, when a phone call would have been a better choice.
In a sense we have done this to ourselves. We allowed changes in the world to change our hearts. See your heart wants you to hear your friend's voice. Your heart wants to sing as your friend or family gets excited when they see a letter in the mail box- a handwritten letter.
As I was embarking on my journey in this really big world, I received a painting with this quote: "Bloom where you are planted" by Mary Englebreit. It hung on my wall in college, in grad school, and in my first home. It still hangs in my house today. I love this painting and quote, as it reminds me to always bloom where I am. Regardless of where I am. There are so many times I am not brave enough to bloom, but I am working on it. Other times I am blooming and didn't even realize it. Has that happened to you? Making a difference. Living a dream you never knew was yours? Sometimes though, if we are all just going along blooming where we are planted we forget- We were planted there on purpose.
Others were planted around us- on purpose.
We are all part of the same garden. The time we spend together should be toxin free and full of growing and blooming.
I challenge you to write a letter to some in your garden this week. See if your garden becomes a little bloomier.
I hope mine does.
Bloom on!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The best laid plans
The best laid plans of mice and men......
On Tuesday, after I folded the laundry and put it away, I was getting everything ready to iron. I started with my closet and then I realized I had no idea where the iron was. A rather long search for the iron, ironing board, and starch commenced. Three items- three different rooms-none of which were near one another.
As I was getting everything laid out, gearing up for my day of ironing- life happened. An unexpected death in the family, company comes into town, on top of a holiday weekend. So much for ironing, mending, and churning.
What would you do? How would you react? Would you stress out? Would you give up on your new commitment to live a simpler life? I thought about these questions and more....
By focusing on my family and not the logistics of the crisis- where are people sleeping, what am I going to cook, when I going to have time to go grocery shopping- the extraneous became obsolete. I felt completely free to be "in" the moment and not consumed by the situation.
During the past year, my MomTime group read a book called "Finding Your Purpose as a Mom-Building Your Home on Holy Ground." The focus of the book was reminding all women as to what our real purpose was- creating a holy home environment for your family. It didn't matter whether you were a stay-at-home mom, a part-time working mom, a full-time working mom, or a single mom. We could do it and besides that's what God wants us to do.
It is so easy to get caught up in working for promotions, volunteering to achieve self-satisfaction, promoting your own greatness through boards we forget what we are really suppose to be doing- creating a loving and spiritual environment for our family to grow and thrive.
What I loved most about the book was any faith could use them. Yes, the book was written on the theology of a Judeo-Christianity- but any faith could take the principles and do it. As mothers we all have the same purpose, it doesn't matter the belief system.
From striving to create a holy home to simplifying my life, each day during this stressful time was a simple day. No, not every moment was simple or stress free. But the overwhelming need to curl up and cry or stand in the middle of the house and scream didn't happen- as much.
Noah and Jason will tell you there was screaming. Yes, there was. At them. For not listening and doing what they were told and for not focusing on the task at hand. Yet, I found myself "Losing my cuckoo" less and less.
We spent these three days digging in and making some hard decisions. What will I keep? Where will it go?
There was only one task- a place for everything and everything in its place. Sometimes that place was the trash. Ok a lot of time that place was the trash.
Do you have piles in your house? I call them the final frontier. The Last stand! You know what I am talking about! The boxes that you push everything into before a party? Or the drawer in the kitchen?
We all have them.
As I write this, I am down to two drawers and one box. It is so liberating. I feel free. Relaxed. Engaged in my life.
Today is Wednesday. It's sewing day. I'll let you know how it goes. Let me know how your transformation is happening as well. I am failing more than I am succeeding, but every little victory is still a victory.
On Tuesday, after I folded the laundry and put it away, I was getting everything ready to iron. I started with my closet and then I realized I had no idea where the iron was. A rather long search for the iron, ironing board, and starch commenced. Three items- three different rooms-none of which were near one another.
As I was getting everything laid out, gearing up for my day of ironing- life happened. An unexpected death in the family, company comes into town, on top of a holiday weekend. So much for ironing, mending, and churning.
What would you do? How would you react? Would you stress out? Would you give up on your new commitment to live a simpler life? I thought about these questions and more....
By focusing on my family and not the logistics of the crisis- where are people sleeping, what am I going to cook, when I going to have time to go grocery shopping- the extraneous became obsolete. I felt completely free to be "in" the moment and not consumed by the situation.
During the past year, my MomTime group read a book called "Finding Your Purpose as a Mom-Building Your Home on Holy Ground." The focus of the book was reminding all women as to what our real purpose was- creating a holy home environment for your family. It didn't matter whether you were a stay-at-home mom, a part-time working mom, a full-time working mom, or a single mom. We could do it and besides that's what God wants us to do.
It is so easy to get caught up in working for promotions, volunteering to achieve self-satisfaction, promoting your own greatness through boards we forget what we are really suppose to be doing- creating a loving and spiritual environment for our family to grow and thrive.
What I loved most about the book was any faith could use them. Yes, the book was written on the theology of a Judeo-Christianity- but any faith could take the principles and do it. As mothers we all have the same purpose, it doesn't matter the belief system.
From striving to create a holy home to simplifying my life, each day during this stressful time was a simple day. No, not every moment was simple or stress free. But the overwhelming need to curl up and cry or stand in the middle of the house and scream didn't happen- as much.
Noah and Jason will tell you there was screaming. Yes, there was. At them. For not listening and doing what they were told and for not focusing on the task at hand. Yet, I found myself "Losing my cuckoo" less and less.
We spent these three days digging in and making some hard decisions. What will I keep? Where will it go?
There was only one task- a place for everything and everything in its place. Sometimes that place was the trash. Ok a lot of time that place was the trash.
Do you have piles in your house? I call them the final frontier. The Last stand! You know what I am talking about! The boxes that you push everything into before a party? Or the drawer in the kitchen?
We all have them.
As I write this, I am down to two drawers and one box. It is so liberating. I feel free. Relaxed. Engaged in my life.
Today is Wednesday. It's sewing day. I'll let you know how it goes. Let me know how your transformation is happening as well. I am failing more than I am succeeding, but every little victory is still a victory.
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